In my recent blog post, Trusting Your Intuition & Understanding Your Gut Instinct, we discussed listening to and understanding your inner voice. But what if the inner voice is a critic? What if the loop that plays over and over is negative self-talk that would serve you better if it were changed? For today’s post, it is all about turning down the volume on your inner critic and how to re-script the dialog. The inner critic is the voice in your head that says the most awful things and criticizes or adds self-doubt to what you’re doing or feeling. Needless to say, this type of inner voice doesn’t serve you so let’s learn to recognize it and overcome it.
Recognizing Your Inner Voice When It Talks
Keisha was a competent employee who knew her job and had skills. Unfortunately, Keisha was a quiet person who often let others push past and voice their suggestions over hers. Why? Keisha’s self-esteem suffered because she allowed her inner critic to rule her. Her inner voice went something like this, “You know Ava has been here longer than you so she probably knows more.” Or, “Just because you’ve been taking an online course to build up your skills the manager may not want to try a new way to approaching this problem so keep quiet.” Or, “Mila’s marriage is happier because she’s able to be home with her young children and her husband adores this about her.”
Keisha allowed her thoughts and inner dialog to keep her in one place and halt her from growing as a wife, mother, and friend as well as growing in her profession. Too often Keisha’s story is much like something you’ve experienced. You allow yourself to talk you out of doing what you would like to do, what you know can be a better, happier change for you.
Everyone’s story is different and no two people are running the same script in their head. But be assured that for each person the feelings are strong and similar. You’re feeling less than. You’re feeling you don’t have control. You’re feeling solutions are outside your grasp.
It’s time to turn off and replace that dialog for something that better serves you. It’s time to challenge that voice and what you’re thinking. It’s time to replace it with something more positive.
Overcoming Your Inner Critic
When you find yourself spiraling down this well-worn path through thoughts or negative self-talk, stop yourself. Even if you must say aloud, “Stop!” Then say, “I’m not going to do this.” Speaking back to the voice shifts your mindset to open and respond to the change you are about to ignite.
Give yourself a statement to say that contradicts the inner critic. In Keisha’s example, she could replace the statement about taking a course with something like this: “My manager may not realize new advances are now in place to cut time and expedite efforts if we follow this new process. It’s my responsibility to share this with my manager so he can make an informed decision.”
By recognizing the inner critic and declaring a positive statement to replace the negative one Keisha is being proactive with a positive change she wants to adapt. Keisha is shutting down and avoiding the constrains of the inner critic. She is embracing growth in her professional life and probably feeling good about who she is, knowing her commitment to continuing learning is helping others and helping herself as well. She is avoiding feeling like she’s a walking catastrophe at work and feeling no regrets about offering her solution.
The key is recognizing the self-talk and re-scripting the dialog. This will take practice and there will be times that you slip and fall back into old habits. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Don’t get discouraged but continue to press on.
For additional information on re-scripting negative self-talk and dialing down the volume on your inner critic listen to my podcast with Dr. Colleen George. On the show Dr. George shares her 8-step approach to changing what you’ve been telling yourself. If you need assistance with scripting some positive statements to counterattack the negative statements you often say please reach out to me for a 1:1 consulting session. Together we can prepare a list of positives to squash that inner critic and set you on an empowering path.